Babies R Us Excursion

I am guessing that in about one year’s time, the mere mention of this store will really rattle my boots. Perhaps instead of affectionately urging Scott to take me to Menards and Home Depot all the time, Babies R Us may just become my new store of choice. However, for the time being, Babies R Us holds much fear and loathing. There’s just so much stuff--little, tiny weenie stuff, not to mention plastic galore.

But I am pregnant, expecting a child, and there are just some things this little girl will need, so yesterday evening, I faced the giant (queue daunting music). Thankfully, I was not alone. I had two gracious, experienced friends to guide me through the seemingly endless aisles and offer suggestions and tips they’ve garnered from raising daughters of their own. Thank you Heather and Erin for sharing your expertise with me, it was greatly appreciated!

Unfurl Little Girl

So yesterday morning was a big day in our pregnancy. Not only did we get see our little sunray moving about, but with great finagling, we were able to determine that I am host to a baby girl!

This was a momentous occasion for me in particular. Whereas some women seem to experience this instinctual and instantaneous love for carrying a child, I have admittedly felt slightly disenchanted with the experience. I have not enjoyed watching my body, complexion, or hair change, and the immediate and severe loss of energy has taken its toll. That said, yesterday was magic for me.

Seeing baby girl bat and move around was truly something miraculous to behold. Her arms were flailing every which way (looks like there may be some serious swaddling in her future), and she routinely sucked her fingers, rubbed her head and eyes, and even yawned (when she did this, we could see the formation of all her teeth buds!) Seeing all the vertebrae in her spine, the already developing brain matter, and the tick-tick of her little beating heart put new meaning to the verse, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

I love this little girl. I am honored that God has entrusted her into my care, and I cannot wait to see her, and hold her, and tell her all about our great God that created her for a purpose.

In the mean time, we make speedy preparation for her arrival—there’s a nursery to outfit, a scary store called “Babies R Us” calling our name, and many details that need to be sorted through before baby girl graces us with her presence. Until then, we wait with expectant hearts and baited breath.

Hello Baby

So I think I have finally made it out of the questionable, “is she, is she not?” phase of pregnancy. In fact, last night at the women’s tea, Lee Wagner looked at me, then down at my belly, and instantly grabbed it and exclaimed, “Oh my, you’re pregnant!” This is way better than had she looked down and said, “Oh my, you’ve really gotten fat!”

Yes, baby is starting to make quite the statement in my midsection. I officially outgrew a pair of jean in one week’s time. Last week I could button them, this week I could not. I told Scott that I hope to never repeat that experience in any other circumstance, but because I am growing a human, I am okay with it.

We’ve started to make stabs at the baby room as well. Over the long holiday weekend we scraped the popcorn texture from the ceiling and ripped up the dingy carpeting and trim work. We have a new window to install, we have to hardwire for a light fixture, install the new hardwood floors, build a closet organization system, trim out the whole room and paint every surface. Thankfully the room is only 8 x 11!

So, I am less than a week away from my ultrasound—I am starting to feel pretty excited about things at this point. Baby started moving around while at the Thanksgiving table. Now that I know what I am feeling for, I think I have been feeling the baby for several weeks. Everyone says it feels like a flutter, I think it feels like a fish. Every once in a while it’s like one of the fins rubs up against your insides and it gives you a strange quivering sensation. Pretty neat indeed!

So, does anyone want take a gamble at the gender of Baby J? All along my maternal instincts have thought boy. What do you think?

Making Room for Baby

As I survey my house, orderly and well put together, I think about how my life is about to be infiltrated by baby. Suddenly, baby is going to take precedence and baby’s stuff will undoubtedly invade every nook ‘n cranny of our home.

I am very cautious about all the “stuff.” I am going to try very hard to NOT buy into the mentality that this little baby is going to need every gadget and gizmo under the sun in order to have a happy and healthy childhood. As with everything in life, balance is going to be key.

In order to accommodate for the unavoidable influx of stuff we’re going to be buying and receiving in the next several months, Scott and I have started the process of organizing our belongings. For as long as we’ve lived in our home, the guest room, (soon to be nursery) has been a catch-all for much of our excess stuff. Over the weekend, we were able to make much head-way in the process of clearing and prepping the space. As I stand in the empty room, I can’t help but think about the new little person that will eventually inhabit and breathe life into the space. The mere thought of it makes my heart catch in my throat.

I am currently 10 days shy of being at the mid-point in my pregnancy. How almost 20 weeks has flown by is beyond me. Our ultrasound is rapidly approaching as well. Though we’re thrilled to find out the gender of this little life, I am more excited to just see baby! Though everything appears to be going well, it’s hard to know for sure. I am prayerful that this baby is just as normal as can be.

Baby on Board

I am sure everyone who glances at this blog is aware that I am pregnant. Being as I will be half way through my pregnancy in less than 3 weeks time, I figured it’s time to get something posted (sorry, no pictures. I am waiting to be out of the “fat” stage and into the “pregnant” stage before posting anything).

I had my third doctor’s visit last Thursday. They told me that I was 17 weeks along. Throughout this whole process, I haven’t felt terribly informed by the doctors. In fact, this was the first time that anyone tangibly told me how far along I am. They are waiting for my 20 week ultrasound to say conclusively when my due date is, but right now it looks like it is sometime between April 23-30.

As the snow fell this past weekend, all I could think about was that when the snow starts to melt, there is going to be a baby on the cusp of being born. Not just any baby, MY baby! As far as emotions go, I still feel rather conflicted. Certainly, I am excited—excited to see my baby, excited to watch Scott become a father, excited to love and care for this new little person, but I am also very apprehensive—what sort of mother will I be? How will I be able to fluidly and naturally take on all the new responsibilities associated with having a child? How will we cope with all the financial demands and everyday logistics of having a child? There is just so much unknown, that at times it feels overwhelming. And yet, God has entrusted us with this new, little life, and we simply must trust Him. As one of my favorite hymns writes, “Oh for grace to trust Him more!”

We have our 20 week ultrasound/gender scan exactly three weeks from today. If anything is going to aid in my excitement level, this will definitely be it. I am eager to hang a little girl outfit or little boy outfit in the closet! We’ll then go to town on the things that really interest me—decorating a nursery! I have a lot of ideas running through my head, so we’ll just have to wait and see which anatomy little baby Johnson shares.

Catch Me if You Can

Around Christmas time of this past year I met with a personal trainer at my gym. For those of you that didn’t have the pleasure of hearing about the episode, I will let you know that the session ended abruptly when I vomited 25 minutes into the workout. I would like to blame it on the trainer, a tiny specimen of a man undoubtedly suffering from ADHD, but realistically, it was likely due to me being plain old out of shape. At any rate, once I rinsed my mouth and sheepishly emerged from the bathroom the trainer said, “Girl, you need to work on your cardio. You need to start running.”

I loathe running, mainly because I’ve never been any good at it. I can jump on an elliptical machine and go for 45 minutes, but make me run and I am out of breath in a matter of seconds. Let’s be frank, I don’t exactly have long, lean, runner legs. It’s hard to toddle around on these short, stout limbs. But at the trainers urging, I decided to give it a try.

I started running for 3 minute intervals followed by 2 minutes of walking. I was only able to do this for a 20 minute stretch in the beginning. Little by little, my endurance has improved and yesterday I ran for 40 minutes straight! I literally wanted to cry, and who knows, maybe I was, but couldn’t distinguish between the tears and beads of sweat. My legs burned, my feet were blistered, and there was going to be no salvaging my hair, but I did it! It was an awesome feeling. So this is where I am at. I am not going to be running a marathon anytime soon, or purchasing a pair of those microscopic runner shorts, but I think I am going to try to stick with this. There are few greater feelings in the world than doing something hard and unbearable and still pulling through.

Biscuit = A White, Doughy, Butter Lump

My lips are chapped, my cuticles are breaking, and no matter how much shea butter I rub on my knees and elbows, they are still dry and itchy. I hate this time of year. I miss dewy summer skin; I miss sandals (actually I just miss an excuse for a pedicure). I miss my #3, ‘Sand dollar’ foundation. In my paleness I am forced to wear #1, ‘Biscuit.’ I don’t want to be the color of a biscuit.

Growing up, “biscuit” in my household was another name for butt cheek. After bath time, Ann and I would do sprints up and down our hallway while mom or dad chanted, “I am going to tweak your biscuits.” I recognize that this all sounds a bit dirty now, but at the time, it was a feverishly fun game.

Winter Burnout Blues

It’s that time again. The holiday hullabaloo is over and the mind numbing, depression- inducing stretch of winter has begun. These are the days when we live like critters—scurrying out in the daylight hours to gather food (a.k.a “work”), only to scurry back to our holes (a.k.a. “homes”). The breezy, free-spirited days of summer have long been put to rest, and lay buried under 3 ft. drifts of snow and ice.

There are 81 days between now and April 1st. 81 frigid, freezing, dark, dank, slushy, sloppy, salty, SLOOOOW days until Spring. God’s speed to us all!